Failure- what a scary word right? When someone tells you that you can fail something, the thought of failing that thing may make you cringe. Sure, there are plenty of things one can fail at. We can fail a test in school, fail a job interview, fail in a relationship, the list goes on. Well, for those of you who don’t know, which is probably many of you; I recently experienced a hard failure in life. I tried to become an officer in the U.S. Navy. This was an experience I was very excited about and I thought I was ready for. For everyone that knows me, they know I workout regularly and that I can do sit ups. However, when I was in training I failed the sit up portion of the strength test by three sit ups. The reason I failed is unknown because I can do above the required number of sit ups at the gym. However, when it came to the test I did not make it in the 2 minute time limit they had. I won’t make excuses, I know that I should have came to OCS more prepared and should have practiced the strength test at home more often than I did.

After I failed the strength test and I heard that they would send me home, I was heartbroken. Nothing hurt more than when the Lt. called us in a room saying, “Come in failures.” The plan I had made for myself for the next four years and possibly longer was gone. I don’t think I have ever felt failure hit me this hard in my life and it hurt a lot. I cried for about a week straight every day thinking about how I had ruined my chance at something great by failing by such a small amount. I beat myself up over it and kept thinking “If only I had tried harder”, or “How could I have let this go?”.

As the days went by, I beat myself up constantly. I was confused, stressed, and sad. I didn’t know what to do next. My career plan was completely gone and didn’t know what I want to do with my life, and I really still don’t. I was lucky to have amazing family and a great support group of friends both inside and outside of OCS. They made me feel like I wasn’t alone in this even though sometimes I wanted to be alone. I spent my days working out nonstop in the gym, pushing myself to make those numbers everyday after I failed. I asked to try to re enter training while I was being processed out and they told me I needed to go home and re-apply.

After being told I definitely had to go home, I finally let it all go. Sometimes we experience failure to make us stronger. I can say I am a much stronger person today then I was when I stepped out of that van to go to OCS. While I was sad when I had initially failed, and still am upset about it; I realize that everything happens for a reason. Maybe I wasn’t meant to take that path in my life yet or at all. Maybe I need time to think it through more and prepare. Maybe there is a different career path that needs my energy. Maybe this whole experience was to teach me failure and how to handle it. At the end of the day, I guess I really don’t know why I went through this. However, I did learn one thing and that is to never fear failure. I highly encourage anybody to go do something that you may possibly fail because that’s what makes it worth doing. Put your energy 100% into whatever you want to achieve and I guarantee you can achieve it; even if it means that you may fail at it once or twice. NEVER let failure bring you down or deter you from doing what you want. Let failure teach you a lesson and take the time to reflect, grow, and become a stronger person.

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